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How to feel more present during panic attacks.

When I’m having a panic attack I feel as though I’m buried under a heavy coulomb of water and I’m trying to shout but I can’t. I feel out of control and incapacitated. The thoughts of “I CAN’T BREATHE” overwhelm me. Here is are some techniques and tricks I try using when I’m having a panic attack. Ypu can use these yourself or you can help your friends when they are having a panic attack with these. 1. I try breathing first, counting 5 inhaling and then counting 3 exhaling. The more oxygen your brain gets the better it thinks. It will give you the strength to talk yourself out of it. 2. Talking myself out of it. This is difficult and might not always help. If you can still think straight, try rationalising your feelings it should calm you down and help you fell less anxious. 3. Wiggling. Since I feel so out of control I try to feel more present to gain some of that lost control back. I sit up with my feet on the ground. Next I begin to notice each part of my body individually, beginning with my toes. After some practice this should help you feel more present and in control next time. (Disclaimer: I’m not a professional, these are just tips that work for me and make life easier for me)

Your thoughts 🙂

4:28 PM

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I’m tired. I had a panic attack in my sleep. Since then I’ve been to fearful to sleep properly. I wake up so tired and demotivated that I have no energy or will to do anything that day. I’m tired of overthinking and then thinking about overthinking. My mind is so preoccupied but so blank that I can’t focus. Being sad all day is exhausting. I’m so sick of it all.

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Just a little reminder. Not all days need to ‘count’ in terms of productivity and goals. Sometimes a the purpose of a day is just to get you to next one without totally giving up. You are worth it and you are worthy of happiness and love.

– your thoughts 🙂

2:12 AM

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When you’re gone

Your mum comes in the room, she stares in shock tears streaming down her face. She’s just seen your lifeless body. She reads the note you wrote. She sinks to the floor. Your dad comes in and goes silent. his eyes well up as he touches your cold hand. Your brother just got home from school, he walks through the door calling your name. He blames himself when he sees you. He teased you too much in the morning when you said you weren’t feeling well. Dad thinks he neglected you and that’s what pushed you over the edge. Mom blames herself because she thinks she didn’t tell you she loved you enough. Anyway, they stay in your room for a few days, unable to face the world. They call up your teacher who breaks down while teaching. She blames herself for pushing you too hard. Your classmates have different reactions when they find out. Your best friends don’t know they cant live without you and they blame themselves for not being there for you enough. Your other classmates think of all the interactions they’ve had with you and blame themselves for anything they may have said to you. Your parents now finally are able to tell your grandparents. Your grandparents never imagined this day, they don’t know how to react. They all break they’ve lost their light. Your friends and their parents come over to your house and sit with your family. They sit in silence nobody knowing what to say. The shopkeeper who you bought groceries from each day, misses your happy smile and short discussions when he finds out. Every single person you’ve ever interacted with blames themselves. You may physically be gone for a totally unrelated reason but for them it was their fault. Your mom has night terrors, your brother has anxiety, your dad is depressed, your grandparents are silent, your friends start cutting and crying each day. The feeling you left with them will never go away.

You are needed, you are wanted. Don’t you ever say, you are not needed because nobody loves you anyway.

-your thoughts 🙂

4:03 AM

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I can’t stop thinking of death. Of relief and peace. Its like an escape in my mind, a journey that is going to set me free. Yet, something holds me back. Maybe it’s the way I laugh with my friends, the time I spend with family or even just that I’m scared to die but I’m scared of the unknown. Maybe it’s all of them. I keep capitalising on these but it’s terrible. I’m living in fear. I’m living because I’m scared of what’s next. I’m scared to hurt people. I’m scared of what happens to them. -your thoughts, 1:17 AM

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A glow stick needs to break before it begins to glow. Read that again.

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A small piece of me dies everyday. It’s so exhausting being sad. The self isolation, the façade, the self- hatred. It’s also real and so draining. Being sad isn’t a state of rest but an extremely active wave of disruption and depression. It’s scary how even in the wave there are no peaks, only troughs. It’s all so subconscious but so alive. It’s like I’m trying to drift off to sleep but all I feel is this harsh hand prodding and poking me to keeping me awake. I don’t know how much longer I can last. – your thoughts 🙂

11:57 PM

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Being alive is so hard. I just want to go. Leave. Vanish. Disappear. I’ve written 23 suicide notes in the past week itself. If I did go It’s not like anyone would care. -your thoughts:)

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The day I realised I was alone. If I went nobody would care. My grades more important than my life. Smiling more important than being alive. The ‘I’ll be there for you’ fakeness. Isolated, alienated and alone. Hurting yourself just to cope with the pressure. Hating every inch of yourself because of tiny jokes about your body each day. Not eating, throwing up because you can’t stand it anymore. Having panic attacks each day, shaking and crying on the bathroom floor. Then just looking up at a blank ceiling.

Your thoughts:)

3:46 AM

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I don’t think people realise how difficult it is to explain what is going on in your head. When you yourself are so confused.